Achieving Grace

If you’ve been reading my blog you’ve come to understand that I am not the most Christian person in the world, in fact I’m still finding myself in my walk. It wasn’t until I had my first child, bawling my eyes out one night as I’m rocking my newborn daughter who just wouldn’t go to sleep (we’ve all been there) that I started praying regularly for strength, compassion and composure. That really was the first ever I felt moved by God, in understanding that HE is with me to guide me. Little by little I started noticing how my life was changing because of my perspective. A view of someone who I thought would judge me or leave me with every sin, instead I’ve come to know a spiritual being who loves me every single day.

As a mom people told me numerous times to give myself grace and I had no idea what they were talking about at first. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve typed grace in Google. How many books I’ve read. Songs I’ve listened to. It took me 3 years to finally figure out what in the world they were talking about and that is grace is boundless. It has zero limits. It has no limits because each and everyday Jesus is pouring his mercy over you and guiding you with his hands as you engage in being a mother. And that truly gives me peace, because grace changed me, it changed my whole outlook on life.

To know that when I’m at my wits end and think I can’t take anymore; HE gives me strength (it’s not just the coffee mommas I mean or the wine)

Knowing that when I haven’t showered in days, slept in a bed sheet that’s been peed on and everyone has clean clothes but me; HE see’s my radiant heart and knows my beauty on the inside and out

Knowing on days when I don’t know what to do or I forgot to go to the store and have nothing to pack my daughter for lunch; HE shows up in the most subtle ways and guides me on what to do

When days are chaotic and I’m physically doing my best as a mother and wife trying not to fail; knowing HE is thankful for giving my all to my family makes me smile

At the end of the day when my little crazies are in bed with me, after we have sang lullabyes and those little hands are wrapped around me: HE is giving me that gift, the feeling of love raging all through my body which is the best feeling in the world

HE sees everything little thing that you do. Every effort that you make, while you think it goes unnoticed, it doesn’t. The most beautiful hymn ever is sung by The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir and it’s called His Grace Was Greater. Oh, I just raise my hands when I hear it:

Oh the shame that filled my heart
Knowing I was wrong
All the guilt I kept inside
And haunted me so long
Then he reached to me in mercy
And drew me to His light
His love and great compassion
Made me precious in His sight

His grace was greater
His grace was greater
Overcome by sin
Until I looked to Him
And found that His grace was greater
His grace was greater
God’s grace amazing grace

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