The Tribe

Lara

Remember my post on Instagram when I said life would be more simpler if you had a tribe that loved you for who you are? Well, here is one final blog post concluding my mom tribe series. In my life I really have been blessed with some beautiful friendships. I have found in my journey that when I surround myself with those who care for my health, help me choose happiness, they laugh with me, cry, those handful of people who genuinely care and love my family. They love me.  So in meeting Lara it was a no brainer from the start I needed her in my circle. From her faith, amazing boho chic fashion, her DIY skills, and her true genuine kindness, Lara embraces life with an open heart and mind.

What is your favorite part about being a mom?

I really love watching my children grow up and discover new things. They remind me how amazing our world is from the small things like cauliflower being similar to broccoli, to wondering in awe at the stars. I feel so blessed and honored to be called to be a momma – to raise someone to be an adult- It’ll be a sad day for me when my babies move out, but it’ll also be a joyous reminder that we raised them to be men and women. It isn’t an easy task, and I cannot do it on my own- so thankful for Jesus.

Did you have any difficult challenges you faced on your pregnancy journey?

My first baby was really easy to conceive and my second wasn’t as easy. In hindsight, she “only” took 11 months to conceive, but compared to the second it took to get pregnant with my first, it felt like eternity. I really had come to terms with knowing that we were just as blessed with one baby as we would be with twenty- that the way God measures blessings is far different than the way we do. It was so hard though – i didn’t want to be sad because others had been trying longer, but it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest every month when I started my period.

Encouraging words:

It’s so tough because you don’t want to raise concern that you may be struggling with secondary infertility because you’re aware that people battle infertility for months and years and have no babies… and then you already have a baby so it’s hard to say you’re concerned without feeling like you’re just not being patient – but I’m here to say your concerns are valid and the hurt and emotions you have felt every time you start your period is real and you have the freedom to grieve each month. Don’t be hard on yourself. I knew all the stuff, I knew how to tell if I was ovulating, I knew what to do, but yes, God know exactly which egg and which sperm were needed to create the sweet girl inside me now, and he knew exactly which month it would be in- which I see and am thankful for in hindsight but while weathering the storm it’s hard, hearing those words was like salt on the wound. BUT WHY GOD? WHY AM I NOT PREGNANT YET?. So hard. Every pregnancy announcement you read about and see is a reminder, and then you’re mad at yourself for making someone’s joy your pain. It’s not easy. You aren’t alone. You’re not weird.

How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant for the first time?

When I was pregnant with my first I felt excited and nervous and I had no idea what the heck was next. When I was pregnant with my second, I was SUPER pumped. I did have a feeling I might be pregnant so I drank my last beer before taking the test.

First child advice?

Stick to your guns about what you want for your baby – but, if it isn’t worth hurting a relationship over, let it go. If Grandma sees baby once a year, turn a blind eye to her giving soda in a straw to your 11 month old. That one time won’t hurt baby – but that one time of making it awkward could really strain a relationship unnecessarily. If Grandma sees baby every week, make it clear you don’t want that to happen – it’s a different situation in that case.

What is the biggest surprise about motherhood in your eyes?

The biggest surprise to me was learning for the first time how much my parents must love me. I never knew how much I could love someone until I had a baby – and my babies will never know how much I love them until they have their own.

How do you handle discipline in your house?

Right now we are using Clay Clarkson’s my 24 family ways to teach character aspects to our children, from what we expect from them, to simple things like how to love others well. We do it at dinner time and it’s been really nice in the discipline aspect because when a situation arises I have something biblical to fall back on and point my kids to Jesus. We also really like love and logic as well as Give them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick. We do spank and use time outs.

What do you think of screen time?

A balance is fine. We watch tv, it’s no big. My kid also plays outside for hours and draws and creates and sings and plays soccer. Balance is awesome. However, that being said, if he is a real jerk, it’s usually because I’ve lost control of the balance – I notice a huge change in attitude when I limit screen time to only an hour or less a day.

Who is a mom you most admire? 

I admire so many mommas. The one that comes to mind is sweet Leslie Dunn in Seattle, Wa. She has three grown children, they were all classically trained in a homeschool setting, her husband is well known in the Seattle area and she’s so humble, relatable, takes notice of everyone and speaks wisdom into the hearts and minds of her children and anyone around her naturally. She prays specifically for her kids, addresses issues biblically and has a household rich in culture from music to theater to simply creating a space that breathes life. She has a home that you just want to sit and eat fresh bread and drink tea and talk about classic literature with someone all day in, and yet, she’s so relatable and not stuck in the past. I love her heart for Jesus.

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