The Land Before Mom

I have no idea why my brain left the movie plot of Land Before Time and gravitated into a different dimension. It happens sometimes, after you have watched a movie for the ninth time and your mind wanders off somewhere else. I felt a chuckle forming inside as it slowly turned the corners of my mouth outward and now, I was doing that lip-piercing ‘thing’ as I analyzed the title of the movie and envisioned how my own movie played out with the title of Land Before Mom…

Act I Land Before Mom

Act I: Cue in the Mom actress as she lights the Jasmine candle, fills up her sunken tub with hot, inviting water – adding in bath bombs, little bubble bath, assembles the iPad to engage with Scandal, dims the bathroom lights and AHHHH! Zen time.

Act II Volcano Erupts

Act II: MOM!!! Banging on the door; screaming; tepid water because someone wants to “swim” with me; bubble bath up to my eyes; toys that I step on; extra, extra bubble bath solution I slip on it upon entering the tub (I mentioned lots of bubbles, yes?); empty body wash containers because I forget to put them away and well bubbles; so much water on the floor I feel I need to build an ark; however, knock on wood no one has pooped in the tub yet (thank you Jesus!)

Act III Once Upon a Time, Everything Was Just Ducky

Act III: I could make plans, even last minute, keep them, plan out my shower routine, grab my purse right on time, pull in with 10 minutes to spare. NOW, I might cancel on you (don’t get offended), I might plan it out months in advance just to get myself pumped up and prepared, I’ll plan out my shower routine but it never works out and sometimes I’m left with greasy hair that I put dry shampoo on (my life line) and throw it up, I’ll actually be ready and on time to have someone have a blowout diaper or they can’t find their shoes so now I’m late, my “purse” I pack the night before with all the essentials just in case I have to prepare for a natural disaster, and I’m normally late.

Act IV Hungry Dinosaurs

Act IV: “So the five hungry dinosaurs set off for the Great Valley – there had never been such a herd before…knowing if they lost their way, they would starve.” OK, this is a bit extreme but some days, my daughter acts this way. For example, her choice of a snack is popcorn, popcorn and more popcorn. She’s going to turn into a piece of popcorn. Some nights I just give up and we do have popcorn for dinner. Her idea of a gourmet dinner is dino chicken fingers five times a week or mac and cheese.  Me? I long for gnocchi with creamed spinach sauce. Wonder if I could substitute the gnocchi for popcorn over creamed spinach. Hmmm.

Act V Escaping

 Act V: “when you’re worried and you can’t sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep and you’ll fall asleep, counting your blessings” HA! Dinosaurs eat sheep, don’t they? There was a day when I did not need sheep to count -I could sleep. Actually sleep, get a full 8 hours of REM sleep. I wake up to “Chopper” attacking me, only to have my little one plop on my chest. My babies, they didn’t sleep unless they were right next to me. I’ve had a crib for 4 years that I had to have, but no one has ever slept a full night in there, nope, they have all taken over my California king bed making it seem like a twin mattress. I’m constantly kicked in the back, woken up by cries, woken up to make sure that I’m still there and to fall asleep on my chest.

Act VI A Journey Starts with a First Step

Act VI: The journey to reach the Great Valley does not come without lessons along the way. While Little Foot was with his Mom, he found everything he needed through her nurturing.  That all stopped when Little Foot started on his journey and had to learn new tactics to survive. In Land Before Mom, I could grocery shop in peace. Ordering a Caramel Frappuccino, taking my time, stopping in the clothes section, maybe try something on. While I love Walmart pickup (like it saved my life!), there are times when I need something and have to load everyone up and head to the store. Some days are better than others, but there are those days I get the “bless her heart” side eyes. I learned the hard way the first time I ordered a drink and it ended up all over the floor because my darling squeezed it too hard in desperation. Screaming because we can’t get buy the gummies just because Paw Patrol is on the box. End up getting the Paw Patrol gummies just so they stop crying. Please stop standing up in the cart is said about 40 times, Blow outs at the store are fun also. I enjoy those.

Act VII The Great Valley

Act VII: Our actress steps back from her writing of the Land Before Mom and pauses to reflect on every word. Friends had warned her that Motherhood would be the end of life. Motherhood would take away her independence.  What they failed to mention was Motherhood created a better version of me.  I sit here and laugh because you have to find the humor in motherhood to survive. I love my popcorn nights because normally my oldest ends up snuggled up next to me. While I don’t get much sleep, the mornings when I wake up to both in bed with me, are mornings I live for. And as for my bubble baths, I miss them, yes, but I love watching my girls, sisters, siblings, something I’ll never experience, laugh and play in the bubbles together. I found The Great Valley through my love for the Land OF Mom.

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